M.Y's Resolutions

2010 was oh so good to me. Never mention those times that I had downs, right? So this coming 2011, I'm looking brighter. But before the fireworks start booming and lighting the dark sky, I want to share my new year's resolution's list. 


I will aspire more, sleep less.
Health will be of more importance.
Sunday is for God.
Craving for happiness.
Closer family tie.
Be productive.
Be more organized. 
Less grudges, more happy moments.
Speak more, write better.
Alteration of what I did during 2010. 


For 2011, I want to make a change. I will do more than yesterday. There will be no more question or pause, I'll continue my days no matter what. Looking forward to 2012. :]


Boom! Boom! Boom! Happy New Year! 

A Christmas' Touch

December 25, the day that all have been waiting for. Gifts are in wrappers. Christmas cards are top selling. Recipes for Noche Buena are ready and served at the table. New clothes are worn. Some are waiting for their gifts. Some are waiting for Aguinaldo. Some are getting ready. But some have nothing and still hopes for something...


It's not always true that when this season comes, people put their bests feet forward. Open your eyes and welcome to the reality of Christmas.


As some family braise their selves and head for a shopping spree, some just raise their hands high all day long, hoping for someone would stop and spare some alms, waiting just to get over the day.

As some excitedly put their Christmas decor all over the place- Christmas tree at the corner, lanterns at the facade, bright lights around, some just stay at their pavement, inside their shanties, packed like a canned sardines, no lights and body crumpled from cold. 

As some iron and remove the tags of their new clothes, take showers and and feel the freshness all over their bodies, some don't mind about their filthy skins and ragged clothes for they have nothing except those what they used to wear every.

As some mouth water from the foods served on the table, some water for leftovers and others worst for nothing and still starve even at this moment. 

As some rapidly open their gifts, tear its wrapper, and read it dedication, some look from up above and wish they also have and do the same thing with a smile on their face.


Amidst the fate that strikes them, these very people still hopes. In their hearts lie a touch of Christmas. A touch of hope, love, and faith. Hope for there will be another day to live on, another Christmas even without gifts or Noche Buena for them, Jesus is enough. Love for their lives. And faith to God that drive them to continue, knowing that they will not be left out until they know their real purpose in life.


-end-

A Father's Child

Like father like son: this is what they usually say when they see a man with his grown up boy. Comparing their selves and doing stuff that only them can understand. But how come I didn't experience someone saying that to me? I feel bad when I think of this.

Having no father while growing up was difficult. My father is not dead, okay? It's just that we're not closed like a solid one. I don't know. I can't even feel his presence. I can't remember memories that we've been together. In short, there's really nothing about us. He's just my father, and I'm his son, that's all and nothing more.

Ever since I was young, I was only with my Lola, Aunt, and Mom. There were the only ones who help me grew up. Loved and nourished me. I was raised with women surrounding me, maybe this explains why act like this. I could have more than this if  he stayed by my side.

I am my father's only child yet I didn't felt that. It seemed like to him, I'm less important compared to those things he kept on doing. He didn't manage to have another wife and child. He didn't also manage to care, pay attention, and look to his only son. He lives like a single person without obligation.

He's irresponsible. I think he don't deserve to be a father. I'm not blaming him. Please don't get me wrong. But you know what? Every time problem appear, I tell myself that it wouldn't be this way if he worked on our family. I could have been better. I could have been stronger.I could have been manlier.

We didn't have bonding time like those who had one. We didn't had the chance to talk about our favorite stuff and what are habits are.We didn't experience laughing together. We didn't had the chance to go outlook out for beautiful women. We didn't had the chance to know each other better than not knowing at all. We have wasted chance. We have wasted time. I regret. I could made a move. on a gig. We didn't had time to

With these, I share want to share these three messages of mine:

To those who feel apart from their fathers: make a way while you're still young, while time is still on and while the chances are there.

To those who love their fathers so much: cherish each others memories, they are treasures to keep, and show the world, show me, what a father-child relationship truly is!

To those who will become fathers: love your children more than the way your fathers loved you, build relationships toward your children, lay time and be a good example.

-end-

When ABC (a baby cries)

Some would want to search and drink in the fountain of youth  to be young forever but I need more than this. I want to ask Cronos (the God of time) to let me go back to the day that I was born, stay there, and repeat it over and over again. 


I imagine when I came into my family's life. Just like every baby, I was adored by all. Mom kissed me. Dad hugged me. My grandparents, aunts, and ninangs always wanted to carry me. Everyone seemed to like my adorable chubby little figure.


No one did hate me. They even said I was a blessing, a gift from above. A being that bound together my parents as one. We three created a happy family.


Time was of priority to me. They never missed a thing when it comes to my concern. I was fed on time. I had their full attention. My firsts were big deals for them. 


I was their subject for every picture. They made me wore fancy costumes. 


I made my parents laugh when I chuckled loudly. They did everything-fed with bottled milk, played teether, and even made fun of their selves- just to make me stop for those times I cried.


For some reason, though I can't really remember these things, I knew it somehow by heart. That's why I wanted to go back from being a baby and cherish the most of it, forever. 


I am missing those days when my Mom and Dad used to hug and kiss me every start and end of the day as if tomorrow will not come again. After a year or two, I was handed over to my relatives. 


Before, I was a blessing but now, a burden to keep. We were supposed to be a happy family not a broken one. I was left in the middle with no one to run to. 


Unattended and set aside, that's me. Today, no one would pay attention. No one really cares. They don't even offer such affection. I am not enough for them to be proud of. To them, I am not worthy to be loved.


Today, no one recognizes me. We are all apart like a family picture torn into pieces, connected by blood yet separated by distance of heart.


Not a chance to make them laugh nor cry. They don't know me anymore. They had lost me. Without acknowledgment, they created a path that got rid of me. they did everything wrong. 


19 years had past. I hid so many hard feelings for them. It can't be spilled in one spit so if Gods can hear me, let me go back.


I want to be a baby once again. A baby whose innocence hides behind smiles and laughters. An innocent from hurt and reality. 

-end-